When my therapist suggested I started running, I laughed in her face. I heard her out and humored her with a: sure, yeah, right, Sparky.
But, then I thought about what she said and figured: what the heck? And I tried it.
I’ve been running for about a month now. And I aim to do it 4-5 days per week. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t.
Here are four things that helped me, a very undisciplined, non-runner, non-athlete, sedentary-lifestyle-activist:
1. Authentic Motivation and Reframing
It sounds simple, trite, even, but you have to tap into your unique motivation for running. If you’re running [or insert any form of exercise here] because you think you should, because someone else thinks you should, because that’s what healthy people do, etc. then you won’t be running for long.
Maybe you have had some life-altering experience and you truly are a convert to exercise for the sake of your heart or your waist-line or for the feel of the wind in your hair? Perfect. More power to you. You’ll probably stick to it.
But, every time I’ve attempted exercise out of a vague concern for my “health” or to get rid of that (second) baby fat or to get ready for that Hawaiian vacation, I’ve given up before I’ve even started.
What worked for me was reframing running altogether, not as something I have to do and hate doing, but as something I choose to do for a couple of very simple reasons.
One: I get time to myself, dedicated to myself and not a damn other soul.
And two: because I have anxious energy to burn.
While those reason certainly have to do with my mental health, they don’t have anything to do with my physical health. While physical health is certainly important, it isn’t a HUGE concern for me. I’m not overweight. I don’t have any health issues. I don’t really care how I look in a bathing suit.
What I’m trying to say is that in order to have any stick-to-it-ness, I had to reframe and find what was truly my own, singular and authentic motivation: my mental health.
2. Small Steps
I’m a perfectionist. You probably aren’t. But for me, where I failed before in running or any other temporary athletic pursuit I’ve had (spinning, yoga, eliptical-ing, weight lifting, aerobics-video-ing) was in thinking I had to run the whole mile, hold the downward facing dog the longest, lift the maximum weight. I was in a competition against myself. Or, okay, maybe everyone else in the room, because I self-consciously imagined they cared or noticed what I was doing.
But, I’m not perfect. (Ding, ding, ding!)
It’s not a race and I can stop whenever my body tells me to. And I actually listen to what my body, not my mind tells me.
So, I don’t run for miles. Only blocks. I don’t run for hours. I don’t have time for that. I roll out of bed, taking advantage of the time beadle spends with the Dearest Daughters in the morning before he leaves for work. I walk for five minutes, run for ten minutes and walk for another five. There’s some stretching in there too somewhere.
And while I’ve pushed myself a little over the past month, it was ever-so-slowly. Again, only an extra block or two at a time. More out of curiosity about the houses and landscaping in the 1400 block, than out of any personal determination. (Note to self: further motivation can be found in home and landscaping snooping.)
And if I don’t feel like taking the
longer loop, because I went hiking over the weekend and my legs are sore or
because I haven’t been running in a few days, I don’t, dang it.
Only yesterday, I finally downloaded an app to tell me the distance I’ve been running. I’ve been doing the same mile and a half all month. And I’m not at all disappointed. Or concocting plans to out-do myself, despite what the running app yells at me!
3. The Cool Stuff
Okay, so maybe I only run a mile and a half. And when sales people ask me if I’m a runner, I tell them “not really.”
Nevertheless, I buy the cool running iPhone armband from them. And the moisture-wicking, light as a feather running apparel. And the comfy socks. Maybe because I’m consumeristic? Or maybe because it makes something totally unpleasant feel special and fun. And, again, just for me!
Source: fashion.onlineline.net via Onlineline on Pinterest
And sure, it cost my day’s wages and my Dearest Daughters will have to eat meat-less spaghetti, but, dang, Mama be lookin’ goooood running down our street.
Source: store.apple.com via AppStorm on Pinterest
And Americans eat too much meat anyway.
4. Grace
This kind of goes back to #2, above, but now that I don’t see running (or exercise) as a Should Do, a Have To or a Goal, I’m less extreme about it.
Before, it was either I Am Someone Who Exercises or I Am Not Someone Who Exercises.
If I don’t run for a week, because I feel shitty, it’s okay. As soon as I can pull myself together, I can hit the pavement again. If I want. And because I’m not such a Self-Dictator anymore, I probably will want to, of my own volition (see #1, above).
I’m not boldly declaring myself a Runner here, to you, to everyone I meet, setting myself up for failure, disappointment or embarrassment when and if I “stop” running.
If next month is a crappy disaster and I can’t find time or motivation for running, I’m not gonna be like: um, yeah, about that, I don’t do THAT anymore.
I know there is grace and I can always take a “pause,” and get back on my feet again, walking, running, skipping or jumping—however the heck I want to spend my fifteen minutes to myself.
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So, am I a runner? No.
Am I an expert? Far from it.
Am I an athletic evangelist? By no means.
But, I’ve learned this much about myself over the past month and I hope that it’s helpful to you, my Dearest Daughters (one of whom, at least, is bound to take after me) and to, you, my Dearest Readers, any of whom may deal with anxiety or other mental health issues or physical health issues. Or, who like me have followed the general policy of "Exercise? You can get hurt doing that!"
Love,
You took my thoughts right out of my brain {insert cross-fit} as I run-walked at an annoying (early) hour on Saturday.
Yea for workout gear! It feels good to wear while lounging on the sofa too. (darn it)
Posted by: Karikane | 17 September 2012 at 02:45 PM