To Babybel on the Occasion of Being Thirty-Six Months (That's Three Years) Old

Dearest Babybel,

I can't really figure out what to say to you that hasn't been said time and time again on this blog, in your monthly letters and to your cute little squishy pumpkin head face.

You've tired of me telling you that you are smart, creative and beautiful.

"Lola already told me that," you'll say. "Ava too."

So what is there left for me to tell you?

Current research in child psychology says that we're not supposed to shower you with general praises anyway.

That and your personality require specificity:

I like your focus and determination in putting that puzzle together.

You are concentrating very hard to make those lines parallel.

That was very kind of you to offer your birthday cupcake to your sister.

Your use of the word "scrumptious" was aptly utilized.

I'm amazed that you went from this:

To this:

And some from in between for good measure:

You are an awesome creature. And I can't believe you're mine. It's a joy every single day to watch you grow into the person you were created to be. And I'm glad that out of all the children I could have had, I got you.

I don't customarily like meeting new people. It's the introvert in me. But, getting to know you has been one of the most wonderful experiences of my life.

Love you no matter what.

Comments

[Mommy (not yours, but theirs)]

It is a challenge to not gratuitously praise your child, when your child is, indeed, just That Awesome.

I think the main point I try to remember when it comes to praise is the research about kids who are told they are smart seeing themselves as "not smart" when they are met with a challenge and therefore not willing to try again. Rather than children who are praised for their efforts or approach to solving a problem; they are eager to try again. I can identify with the former. I'm smart, a perfectionist, I hate trying new things or doing anything that is difficult because it makes me feel stupid or embarrassed when I mess up. End psychobabble.

[amy]

I know you're not supposed to tell kids they're smart or beautiful, at least not all the time. Something about they can deny it, even if just to themselves ("No, I'm not, look in the mirror at my nose/zits/hair/teeth/whatever"). I still do it. I also tell Lindsay she is amazing, I'm proud of her and I think the way she handled that humongous paper worth three thousand points about Machiavelli and his 21st Century relevance was pretty awesome. Definitely needs specific.
Besides, Bel IS beautiful and smart and strong and the coolest dragon girl there is.