Dearest Daughters,
Posting old content while we're away.
A college graduate when I wrote this, slightly less precocious. Only slightly.
Yesterday, as I walked through downtown Berkeley on my way to the BART station, I looked up from my concentrated and self-blinded gaze at the sidewalk in front of me. And I caught the eye of a man. Homeless, perhaps. Certainly lacking in the hygiene department. He was wearing a large coat on a beautifully sunny day. He was muttering to himself and to passersby, holding out his hands for change, presumably. And in that moment, I made a decision.
Many people choose to ignore "street people," whether homeless persons or a crowd of runaways or a "gang" of "hoodlums" blocking the sidewalk. We pretend they don't exist. Or perhaps we are painfully, uncomfortably aware of them, so we cross to the other side of the street or make certain to keep our distance or we hold our loved-ones hands a little tighter. Ever attempting to be the humanist I ever desire to be, to walk the walk, to do as Jesus would have, etc. I thought to myself as I approached this man:
"Self, how can you affirm this fellow human's existence? In what way can I acknowledge him and his needs? I don't have any change or my McDonald's gift certificates. I don't want to be bullied or chastised for not reaching into my pocket, but I want to give him something. A smile, might work. Eye contact and a brief, "I'm sorry, sir, I don't have anything today."
And so, as I drew nearer, I held my head up and looked him in the eye as he muttered about "change." I was poised and ready. But, when I got close enough to hear his words, I was greatly humbled. This man, though clearly "in need" was not asking for "change" with his hands held out. He was testifying. His palms up and open. Asking not for dimes and nickels, but for change in the world. Concerned about change and the lack thereof. Angry about human apathy. I can't recall his exact words, because in my shame and embarrassment for my refuted and dire attempt to "be a good person," I hung my head and hurried past to catch my train, thinking to myself: "Lauren: if not quarters, if not a smile, if not time in your day, if not your own assumptions and notion of the "type" of person you are, what change can you spare?"
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