Have I Told You Tuesday: Summer Camp is for Sissies

Dearest Daughters,

Did you know that some children go to summer camp? For a week, for multiple weeks, for the whole summer? Oh, and they arrive via chartered jet, according to a recent article in the New York Times. Apparently, getting to these summer camps has become so "ridiculous" that one mother (at the end of the article) has decided her children won't attend camp in the Northeast anymore. Nope. They're in Europe this summer. Say what!?!

No private jets for you. And probably no summer camp.

As a child, a week of Christian summer camp maybe. Presbyterian, probably, so you can soak up some Jesus with your sun. And when you're a teenager, I'll allow you the hormonal pleasure (see: "massage circles" and/or "water play") of attending Presbyterian youth conferences, including Montreat Youth Conferences and the Presbyterian Youth Triennium, a conference that takes place every three years. But, definitely not any camps posing as music or sports or science camps where your behavior will not be supervised by the guilt of one religious institution or another.

I hate to get all Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother on you, but I don't think there's any need for you to ever attend summer camp, aside from the non-traditional options presented to you above. Maybe it's because I'm not from the Northeast and it's not a part of my cultural makeup. Maybe because I see no reason for me to pay for you to go play in the woods with a bunch of people we don't know. When you could just as easily go play in the backyard or go camping with people you do know. Maybe because I want to spend the summer with you. Or maybe because even if I wanted to get a break and send you away, there are about three dozen people on a waiting list we've been keep since your births that are willing to take you. For weeks at a time. For free. Maybe because I don't want you sleeping on bed bug infested mattresses. Maybe because I'm just plain mean and overprotective. And never let you do anything. And Susan's mom is letting her go to cheer leading camp! Maybe.

I know people who's childhoods have been shaped by summer camps--religious, academic, debate or otherwise. And they are fantastic people. And they can feel free to comment here to convince me of my shortsighted parenting.

I guess if you really really really wanted to go to a summer camp for a really really good reason, like you were awarded a scholarship to some genius-brainiac camp where you build robots that will do your summer reading for you, then I'd let you. But, you'd have to pay for it yourself. So, start saving.

Where does the visceral dislike of summer camps come from? Two places.

1) I'll admit, I'm projecting. I hated even day camps and forced socialization. I will not subject you to the torture of a week spent away from your mother.

2) I just find the concept of summer camp, specifically, to be frivolous. Not only monetarily, but also an indulgent slap in the face of summer. Summer isn't a time for structure and hopping from one activity to another. Summer is a time to, first, catch up on sleep and then learn to entertain yourself. As the NYT article pokes fun at, in its headline "To Reach Simple LIfe at Camp, Lining Up For Private Jets," summer camp is so first world. What has the world come to when we burn jet fuel to "get back to nature." Even camping with my family this summer, we took some time to reflect on the fact that we were choosing to live outdoors for a week. For some this is not a choice.

So, what will my children do instead of summer camp? They'll do chores, read, play in the dirt, bury each other in the dirt, blow bubbles, destroy things, build things, walk to the library, throw a ball, paint a picture, spin in circles for all I care. They can even stare at a wall and "be bored." But, they'll do it at home or at a neighbor's house, a grandparent's house, an aunt or uncles house. If we really want to get back to a "simple life," that's it. How much more simple can you get than making mud pies in Grandma's backyard? Using your imagination? And being surrounded by your family?

I certainly understand that parents who work a traditional forty hour a week, Monday through Friday, nine to five schedule have to find some way to deal with an outdated, agrarian-based school calendar. So, I'll give them that. And will probably come back with my tail between my legs in five years when I send Babybel off to her first mathematical engineering summer camp.

Regardless, she'll not be taking any chartered jet while I'm on watch.

Love,

Comments

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I also made more God's eyes and friendship bracelets than anyone ever could possibly need. To me, although camp was scheduled, there was no expectation or deliverable at the end. You didn't have to produce something or suddenly be more proficient in something

[Mommy (not yours, but theirs)]

Good points, John and Kate.

Mostly, my post was a visceral response to the NYT article which just seems SO RIDICULOUS. So, my actual opinions were somewhat half-baked.

Like all parenting decisions, I suppose it will depend on my children's personalities, whether they express a desire or need to be forced to go to camp. But I like to write these notes to my daughters, making extreme blanket statements about my expectations for them, leading them to believe that they will never get married or wear make up, will never do anything that jeopardizes their chance of becoming President of the United States, basically never have fun.

And you both build a very good case for the fun-ness of camp. Sooooo... I'm gonna go ahead and stick with the no camp policy. Unless you can point me to a very not fun camp for practicing piano, studying vocabulary and allows no peer-to-peer interaction :)

[Kate D.]

As a recovered camp person myself, I definitely see your points about the more frivolous nature of camp. There are a lot of things that you can do for free at home that you pay a few hundred bucks to do in a place with underqualified camp counselors.

That being said, being an alum of both YMCA overnight camp (including four years at their equestrian camp) and debate camps during high school, I thought they were great experiences that helped me to become more comfortable in new situations. For me, camp was a good chance to getting used to meeting new people and learning how to be away from people I knew and loved. It was a good, safe place to take chances and be forced to meet new people.

My mom actually credits summer camp with my decision to be willing to go to college far away and move across the country after college. (I'm going to go ahead and say that a number of other factors played into those decisions, and Camp Tecumseh and debate camp weren't the primary ones.)

I also think that summer camp is a place to try new things you might not otherwise. I am actually wonderful at shooting a rifle, something I wouldn't have tried if I hadn't spent two weeks every summer hanging out in the Indiana countryside. I also made more God's eyes and friendship bracelets than anyone ever could possibly need. To me, although camp was scheduled, there was no expectation or deliverable at the end. You didn't have to produce something or suddenly be more proficient in something. (This was not the case at debate camp, but that's a whole different story and I wouldn't recommend it.) Camp was just two weeks to rediscover who I was around new people and enjoy trying new activities.

(To be fair, my brother spent most summers at the local boy scout camp, and referred to my YMCA camp as "sissy camp" because we slept in cabins, not tents, and we ate indoors. I think that sleeping on a plastic mattress in a room with 14 other girls, relaxing in a swimming hole, and eating mystery meat at least once a day hardly counted as being pampered.)

That being said, I also didn't grow up with a large extended circle of family and friends, like Maribel will grow up with. It was just me and my brother, so in our case, camp was our way to be around other kids during the summer. Maribel and Danielle will grow up with an amazing network of Reyeses and Gibsses and many more wonderful families. (And I did spend the rest of the summer doing the typical, at-home summer things like mowing the lawn, reading lots of books, staring at the wall being bored, and consuming copious amounts of kool-aid.) But I do think summer camp can be worth it, if you find a fun, down-to-earth camp that's a good fit for the girls.

[John Burns]

Hi. Was directed here from your interactions with my friend @brucereyeschow.

I attended summer camps every summer growing up. My parents weren't wealthy, and they drove me in the stationwagon, not some plane.

But I attended a summer camp for gifted 5-7 graders and had my mind stretched by wonderful counselors, and got to be the kid I couldn't be in school. I then learned to sail at Presbyterian (shoutout!) Point sailing camp. And I received intensive and highly professional musical training for two years at Cannon Music Camp at App State University. That one was a month long, and well well worth it.

So, I see your point, but I disagree. Summer camps aren't just another way to overschedule our kids - something I am trying to avoid doing with my own kids. But they are a great way for a kid to grow, to learn new things in places he or she might otherwise not get to visit.

Anyway, keep up the blogging! I enjoyed your post.