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13 July 2011


Mommy (not yours, but theirs)

Thanks, Auntie. I can count on you for insightful and encouraging comments. Always what I need to hear! Thank you thank you thank you.


Grandma once told me I "thought too much". I still think about that one. Okay, ironic, I know.
I know pretty much what she meant, I mean, after all, I was raised by her. She didn't really have to think about all these things like "am I damaging my child's psyche by yelling or swatting"? Or "I am the bigger human, so if I physically drag my child out of the store/room/house I am showing her that bullies win." Yeah, no...she didn't really sit and worry about that stuff. I'm sure she worried about the way she was raising kids, and wondered if she should have more patience, and all, but I really think she thinks we all get that analytical (oh, yes, OVER analytical a lot of times) thing from Grandpa. Sometimes you just can't over think a thing, but trust your gut as a mom. After all, she had one of those little paperback copies of Spock, where he gave mommies permission to cuddle babies and "trust themselves" to make the right choices, rather than raising babies at arms' length.
We are a different generation (and yes, I do still consider that I parent a lot more like you do than like Grandma did). We THINK more.
So it just freaks us out when we hit that wall and the red haze boils up before our eyes and we shriek "just stop fighting me and GET IN YOUR CARSEAT!"
Grandma tells me all the time how wonderful a mom she thinks you are, how patient, but also how good you are at dealing with the tantrums, etc. You must really show her the Good Mom side, huh? (Kidding...)
I think she is being sincere. I know she was pretty patient most of the time, but she also did some judicious ignoring. With five of us, the younger ones often just didn't DO those things that got you in trouble. I mean, duh! If swearing got your mouth washed out with soap, you didn't use those words! How hard is that?
Look at Bel's tantrums and mouthyness as good teaching moments for Danielle, right?
Oh, and a little healthy fear won't hurt a kid...did your dad ever tell you about the yardstick?
Honestly, I don't remember EVER being swatted. It might be because I spent most of my childhood on my butt reading or playing with a spoon and bowl, and Grandma couldn't get to it to swat it...

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