Let's Start With a Fax Machine

Dearest Daughters,

All my best gems of wisdom are stolen.

Even if I was Siddhartha, himself, sitting beneath a Bodhi tree. Or Jesus, Mohammad, Sun Myung Moon, even then, my inspiration would come from SOMEWHERE.

So, all wisdom comes from God and belongs to us all. Or it comes from your best friend's sister's former long-distance love interest whom you've never met. For ease, we'll call him He Whom I Do Not Know. And if plagiarism isn't enough, I'd like you to meet slander: He Whom I Do Not know is not Our Favorite Person Right Now or Ever, so I own him. And his quotes.

He Whom I Do Not Know, I hear tell, has a nugget worthy of being stolen: "I'm going to make my children work UP to a cell phone. I'm going to give them a fax machine, and once they've proved they can be responsible with their fax machine, we'll move up. Maybe to a land line."

Following the same logic, let's start with these:

Babybel has already broken one DVD in half, so she's obviously not responsible enough for digital media. Though she's also pulled all the tape out of both South Pacific and DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince, both tapes we picked up at the thrift store along with her Hello Kitty tape player and microphone.

Auntie Katherine, the best children's librarian IN THE WORLD, sent us these. Because not even the library wants them. Their loss is our fax machine.

Love,

P.S. I've also plagiarized Grandma Jane ("If you need to wear your underwear again, just turn them inside out.") and Lola ("Make good choices!") and pretty much every Hallmark card in the Mahogony section.

Comments

[Mommy (not yours, but theirs)]

Watch out people. I may levy a Tax on you if you are lame.

[Auntie Lynne]

Dang, I didn't know Grandma Jane said that! That is great. As is this entry. Best use of the Lame Tax ever.