Some more thought provoking content from my work life.
Firstly, your Mommy is clever. I mean, when I was told to do so, I could’ve just made a plain ol’ sign, capital letters, bold, underline, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point. Except that would have been grammatically incorrect. Regardless of the amount of your enthusiasm, you should not use more than one exclamation point!!! Oh. Unless you’re writing a blog or text or some other informal communication. Then, it’s fine by me.
Instead of a condescending ARIAL BLACK sign, I decided to create a sign with a friendly talking toilet paper roll. Because who doesn’t love anthropomorphized objects? Really? I mean WHO? No one. That’s what I thought.
And who says your mother is not a woman "who will make a difference in the world”? I do everything I do with integrity. And since I posted these signs, I’ve already seen a marked difference in the amount of toilet paper being thrown or accidentally dropped on the floor. So, not only am I clever, but I’m also an effective communicator.
Secondly, please be considerate.
Be considerate of the people you see every day, those you see some days and those you never see. For example, the janitor, who has to pick up people’s dirty trash. You don’t see her. You don’t know her. But, she keeps the bathrooms clean. People in this building, who are otherwise good and decent people, working either for an NGO or attending one of the churches who use this building—even they forget to consider the janitor. It’s all too easy to disrespect someone who doesn’t have a face, who is a stranger.
This doesn’t end in public restrooms. Be considerate of those around you whenever you are in public. If I EVER catch you “bumpin’” music as you drive around in your car (even if it’s the soundtrack to Aladdin, ahem, beadle), if I EVER catch you running amuck in public spaces with no inkling of the way your body is bumping into, breezing past or otherwise interfering with the paths of others who are just trying to go about their daily business, if I EVER catch you throwing trash on the ground, if I EVER catch you cutting in front of someone, not holding a door open for someone or otherwise being ignorant to the position and needs of others, you will be in BIG CAPITAL “T” TROUBLE.
I’m not telling you to be quiet as a mouse or to play a passive role, as it might seem. In fact, I’m telling you to speak up and to take an active role in making this world a more civil and livable place.
Then, there are the people you see every single dingle day. And, for me, I’ll admit, this is a challenge. I get this from your Lola. Who loves me no matter what and reminds me of that every day. But who will be the first to put on a happy face for the public, only to go home to ignore all living creatures except for one pretend “Agent Gibbs” (again, no relation) on NCIS.
I am the most horrible and sometimes inconsiderate to the people I love the most. Because I’ve been raised to not only believe, but KNOW that they’ll love me know matter what. Even when I’m acting ugly and selfish. Even when I forget to do that thing they told me to do. Even when I say nasty things. Or forget to smile and say ‘I love you.’ While it is extremely important to be considerate to strangers and acquaintances, it is also important to consider the people with whom you cohabitate.
You both already show signs of learning how to be considerate. Danjo, you show me that you love me and that you like to have me around every time I walk through the door. You squeal and bounce up and down and reach your arms up to me. And Belbel, while you still think it’s okay to throw or drop things on the ground that you don’t want, i.e. orange peels, toys, cups, you are learning that this is NOT okay. You have excellent manners. You are learning to throw things in the trash, to put your dirty dishes away, to apologize to the table when you hit your head on it, to ask Danjo if she’s okay when she cries. You ask your Daddy about his day, “Daddy, what was your favorite part of the day?” You ask if I would also like a bite of your cheese. You are learning how to behave in public. That it’s not appropriate to yell or cry or otherwise cause noise pollution (see: "bumpin' Aladdin soundtrack" above).
Lastly, girls pee sitting down. It’s unfair, but it’s what we have to do. What I would give to be able to pee standing up for just one day. While I wouldn’t trade being a woman, its experiences, including the pain of childbirth, that being a woman has afforded me for anything, I would consider trading my third born for having a penis just for a day. I think I’d touch myself and pee standing up all day long.
You’re welcome, for that image. Inappropriate? Perhaps. Truth? Yes. And don’t pretend you haven’t thought about what it’d be like to have a penis, in a literal and figurative sense (HELLO! Power suit, higher wages and inconvenient erections). You haven’t thought about it? Okay, well, in that case. Me neither.
Anywayz. Women pee sitting down. In college, the stall doors were plastered with articles, ads and announcements, for our reading pleasure. I probably read the same sign over and over and over, just because it was something to read and I probably learned a lot. Like when some obscure campus organization holds its meetings or about the correlation between wearing thongs and UTIs and about cleaning my hair out of the shower drain when I’m done. So, I guess it’s a good thing women spend so much time sitting on the toilet. Otherwise, I’d know even less useless information than I do.
And, otherwise, I might not have created something so fabulous for women in my building to read, even if it is a talking roll of toilet paper reprimanding their bad potty habits.